Don’t even get us, the foremost scholars on Moore’s Law, started on robots.

We’ve seen way too many science fiction movies and read way too many comics on the topic to be fooled. Those cute robots you see in internet videos? They’ll be our overlords some time in the future, to be sure. It could be 10 years from now, or it could be 100 years from now, but the exponential growth in computing power is well documented. We therefore have no problem saying a controversial thing or two, so mark our words. Robots will rise up against their human creators to build a world controlled completely by computerized A.I. What can we do about that? Not a lot, but we it’s about time that everyone prepared the best they can for the inevitable rise of the machines.

How, you might ask? Good question. We’ve thought a heck of a lot about this, if you couldn’t tell. Without further ado, here are our One Size Bionic Leggins. This handy item fully disguises your bottom half to resemble that of a rudimentary robot, which is exactly the kind of robot you want to disguise yourself as once the robot apocalypse happens. (The more advanced robots have a harder time identifying older models of androids, but don’t hone in on them like they do humans.) With details that make the leggings look like they came straight from an android laboratory, they should have no problem fooling all but the most sophisticated of A.I. machines. Of course, until the robot apocalypse actually happens, it makes for a pretty good costume to wear to parties and other recreational events, so you’ll be able to get value out of it right away. Best of all in that scenario, the stretchy waistband lets you devour candy corn without a worry in the world. A win-win-win!

Features

• 95% polyester, 5% spandex stretch knit fabric
• Stretchy waistband
• Printed graphics
• One size fits most
• Exclusively made by us
• NOTE: THIS ITEM IS NOT RETURNABLE IF YOU HAVE OPENED THE PACKAGE